Master Your Emotions: Understanding and Overcoming Triggers
We’ve all been there—something seemingly small sets off a wave of emotions that feels overwhelming. Maybe it’s a song, a scent, or even a certain look someone gives you, and suddenly, you’re flooded with anxiety, anger, or sadness. These intense emotional reactions are often the result of “triggers.” But what exactly are triggers, and how can we manage them in a way that keeps us grounded? This guide will break down what triggers are, how they work, and provide you with practical tips to handle them, all while keeping things informative, practical, and a bit fun.
Emotions 101: What’s Going On in There?
Before diving into triggers, let’s talk about emotions. Emotions are our body’s way of responding to the world. They are like the signals on a dashboard—when something needs attention, an emotion lights up. For instance:
Fear is like a flashing warning sign that something could be dangerous.
Anger might pop up when you feel wronged or blocked from something important.
Sadness often signals a loss or disappointment.
These emotions are all part of our evolutionary wiring, designed to keep us safe and help us navigate the world. However, sometimes the wiring can get a little too overactive, especially after experiencing something traumatic or stressful. That’s where triggers come in.
The Fight-Flight Response
When faced with a perceived threat, our body has an automatic response known as the fight-flight response. This is your brain’s way of preparing you to either confront the danger (fight) or escape from it (flight). This response is super useful when you’re facing real danger, like a bear in the woods, but it can kick in when the “danger” is more emotional, like a harsh word or a difficult memory.
When triggered, your brain might perceive a situation as a threat, even if it’s not physically dangerous. Your heart rate might increase, your muscles tense up, and you could start to sweat—all signs that your body is gearing up to protect you. This is where understanding your triggers and learning to manage them becomes crucial.
What Exactly Are Triggers?
Triggers are anything that brings up a strong emotional reaction, often linked to past experiences. They can be external (like a place or a person) or internal (like a thought or a memory). Think of triggers as emotional tripwires—they can set off a chain reaction that leaves you feeling overwhelmed.
But Here’s What Triggers Are Not
It’s important to note that not everything that reminds you of a past event is a trigger. A trigger causes an intense emotional response, whereas a reminder might just make you think of something without stirring up those big feelings. For instance, hearing a song that reminds you of a breakup might make you feel a bit sad, but if it sends you into a spiral of intense emotion, it’s likely a trigger.
How Triggers Are Formed and Maintained
Triggers form through associative learning, where the brain links a neutral stimulus (like a sound or smell) with a significant event, especially a traumatic one. Over time, these associations become reinforced, especially if they’re not addressed, making the trigger stronger.
For example, if you had a frightening experience during a thunderstorm, the sound of thunder might become a trigger for anxiety. Every time you hear thunder, your brain sends out an alarm, reinforcing the idea that thunder equals danger.
Trauma-Based Understanding of Triggers
When it comes to trauma, triggers can be particularly intense. Trauma impacts the brain’s ability to process and store memories correctly, sometimes leading to what’s known as “flashbacks.” These are sudden, vivid re-experiences of a traumatic event that can be triggered by something seemingly unrelated.
In trauma, the brain’s alarm system (the amygdala) becomes hypervigilant, meaning it’s always on the lookout for danger. This can make everyday situations feel threatening, even when they’re not. Understanding that this is your brain’s way of trying to protect you can be the first step toward healing. However, this protective mechanism can be exhausting and disruptive, which is why trauma-focused approaches are often necessary.
Practical Tips for Managing Triggers
So, how do you manage these emotional tripwires? Here are some practical, easy-to-apply tips that can help you stay grounded when a trigger pops up.
1. Know Your Triggers
The first step in managing triggers is to know what they are. Keep a journal or note on your phone of situations, people, or places that seem to set off strong emotions. Awareness is the first line of defence.
2. Practice Grounding Techniques
Grounding is about staying connected to the present moment, especially when your mind starts spiralling. Here are a few techniques to try:
The 5-4-3-2-1 Technique: Look around and name five things you can see, four things you can touch, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste. This engages your senses and helps you stay present.
Deep Breathing: Breathe in slowly for four counts, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. This simple technique can help calm your fight-flight response and bring you back into your Window of Tolerance.
3. Create a “Calm Down Kit”
Put together a small kit of items that help you feel grounded. This could include:
A small object that feels comforting to touch.
A scent that you find calming, like lavender.
A photo or memento that makes you feel safe.
Having this kit on hand can be a lifesaver when you’re feeling triggered.
4. Use Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Strategies
CBT is great for challenging the thoughts that come up when you’re triggered. Next time you’re triggered, try this:
Catch the Thought: Notice what thought popped up when you were triggered.
Check the Thought: Ask yourself, “Is this thought 100% true?” Often, our initial thoughts in a triggered state are more about our past than the present reality.
Change the Thought: Replace the negative thought with a more balanced one. For example, if you think, “I’m in danger,” you might change it to, “I’m safe right now, and this is just a memory.”
5. Stay Within Your Window of Tolerance
The Window of Tolerance is your sweet spot where you can handle stress and emotions effectively. If you’re outside of this window, you might feel either hyper-aroused (anxious, panicky) or hypo-aroused (numb, disconnected). To stay within your window:
Take Breaks: When you feel overwhelmed, take a short break. Step outside, stretch, or get a drink of water.
Move Your Body: Gentle exercise like yoga or a short walk can help release some of the pent-up energy that builds up when you’re triggered.
6. Trauma-Informed Techniques
If your triggers are linked to past trauma, there are specific techniques that can help:
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing): This therapy involves moving your eyes in a specific way while recalling a traumatic event, helping to process and reduce the emotional intensity of the memory.
Somatic Experiencing: This approach focuses on releasing trauma stored in the body by paying attention to physical sensations and gently working through them.
Trauma-Focused CBT: This is a specific form of CBT that addresses the unique way trauma impacts thoughts and behaviours, helping to reframe and reduce the power of triggers.
7. Reconnect with Your Inner Family
Internal Family Systems (IFS) is all about understanding the different “parts” of yourself. When you’re triggered, try to identify which part of you is reacting. Is it a younger part that feels scared or an angry part that wants to protect you? Acknowledge these parts with compassion rather than judgment, and see what they need from you in that moment.
Maintaining Emotional Balance
The goal isn’t to get rid of triggers entirely—that’s not realistic. Instead, it’s about managing them so they don’t control your life. Regularly practicing these techniques will help you build resilience, making it easier to stay calm and grounded even when you’re faced with a trigger.
Conclusion and Next Steps
Triggers are a natural part of life, especially if you’ve been through difficult experiences. But with the right tools, you can learn to manage them effectively, keeping your emotions in check and living a more balanced, enjoyable life. So, the next time you feel triggered, remember: you’ve got this. With a little practice and some fun, practical strategies, you can turn those emotional tripwires into opportunities for growth and self-care.
If you find that your triggers are deeply rooted in past trauma or are impacting your daily life, it might be time to seek professional support. At Calm Sanctuary, our team of experienced psychologists and therapists specialises in trauma-informed care and can help you work through your triggers in a safe, supportive environment. Don’t hesitate to book an appointment with us—we’re here to help you on your journey to emotional well-being.
References
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Shapiro, F. (2018). Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing (EMDR) Therapy, Third Edition: Basic Principles, Protocols, and Procedures. Guilford Press.
Beck, A. T. (1979). Cognitive Therapy and the Emotional Disorders. Penguin.
Linehan, M. M. (1993). Skills Training Manual for Treating Borderline Personality Disorder. Guilford Press.
Kabat-Zinn, J. (1990). Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness. Delacorte.
Schwartz, R. C. (1995). Internal Family Systems Therapy. Guilford Press.
Van der Kolk, B. (2014). The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma. Penguin.
