Is It Too Late To Understand My Brain, Now That I’ve Been Diagnosed With ADHD As An Adult?
The Emotional Weight of Adult ADHD Diagnosis
Receiving an ADHD diagnosis in adulthood can feel like everything suddenly makes sense and simultaneously like the ground has shifted beneath you.
For many, especially women, it’s a mix of relief, grief, anger, and self-compassion. You may find yourself reflecting on school reports, strained relationships, burnout cycles, and misunderstood emotional responses. This diagnosis is not a flaw. It’s a long-overdue explanation and a powerful entry point to self-understanding.
ADHD & Trauma: The Overlap and Misdiagnosis
ADHD and trauma often present with overlapping symptoms: difficulty concentrating, emotional dysregulation, impulsivity, and chronic overwhelm. According to research published in Frontiers in Psychiatry, trauma and PTSD are significantly more prevalent in adults with ADHD. Many women, particularly those who were high-achieving or perfectionistic, have spent decades masking symptoms, only to be misdiagnosed with anxiety, depression, or even personality disorders.
Understanding the nervous system’s role is vital. ADHD affects executive functioning and dopamine regulation, while trauma impacts the body’s threat response. Together, they can compound feelings of failure, frustration, and shame.
Practical Coping Strategies
Healing and thriving with ADHD involves practical skills tailored to your neurodivergent brain, not generic self-help tips. Here’s what helps:
Executive Dysfunction Support:
Use visual task boards or apps like Todoist and Notion to externalise memory.
Time blindness? Try the Time Timer or Pomodoro method with built-in breaks.
Chunk tasks into “micro-steps.” For example: “Put on shoes” > “Walk to mailbox” > “Post letter.”
Emotional Regulation Tools:
Somatic grounding exercises (e.g., 5-4-3-2-1 technique, self-holding).
Use emotion wheels to identify what you’re feeling and name it—this reduces amygdala activity.
Practice distress tolerance skills from DBT, such as temperature change (e.g., cold water on wrists).
Cognitive Reframing & Self-Acceptance:
Challenge inner critical narratives: “I’m lazy” becomes “I’m struggling with executive function today.”
Use affirmations that acknowledge effort: “Doing things differently doesn’t mean I’m doing them wrong.”
Journal weekly to track your wins, even the small ones—these build self-efficacy.
Building a Support System
Neurodivergence thrives in community. Consider these layers of support:
Therapy:
Seek ADHD-aware and trauma-informed therapists.
Explore modalities like Internal Family Systems (IFS) to heal inner criticism and masking habits.
Peer Connection:
Online forums (e.g., ADHD Alien, ADDA, and local FB groups) can offer relatable experiences and tips.
Accountability partnerships help with follow-through in a non-judgemental way.
Lifestyle Adjustments:
Movement-based activities like yoga, dancing, or walking can help regulate dopamine.
Regular meals with protein and complex carbs support mood and focus.
Noise-cancelling headphones, body doubling, and tidy visual spaces reduce overstimulation.
Conclusion: A Different Way of Thinking—Not a Flaw
At Calm Sanctuary, we believe that ADHD is not a deficit; it’s a different wiring. Learning to work with your brain instead of against it is where the transformation happens. You are not behind. You are discovering a new way forward full of compassion, clarity, and connection.
